CD2 (Cycle day 2) has not been any better than CD1. The cramping is very intense and the bleeding has been quite heavy. I phoned my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to find out if this is normal but unfortunately he couldn't give me a simple answer. He simply wants me to come in tomorrow so we can talk about it and do a possible exam. That's disappointing since I have to pay a $50 copay just to walk in the door there. (ugh!)
I suppose I shouldn't really complain. They were kind enough not to charge me for the follow up visits I had after my miscarriage. (I had to go in every week for another beta to test my HCG levels)
My hope is that he can prescribe something for this pain because so far I've been taking 800mg of ibuprofen and that doesn't even come close to easing the pain.
My cycle, the cramping, the bleeding... all of it is just another reminder that I lost my sweet baby. I would have been 15 weeks pregnant today. I miss her so much and really miss being pregnant. Being in the limbo of not knowing if I should try again and if so when makes the journey more difficult. I think it's the uncertainty of it all that adds to my depression.
Also, I had a very close friend of mine that I met online through the Fertile Thoughts forum (an online support group for women TTC) who seems too busy to talk to me anymore. It really hurts because we used to talk every day (through email of course). I don't understand it and it makes me sad. She was such a huge support to me through my TTC journey and even when I was pregnant that I can't regret forming that friendship with her. I wouldn't change a thing... I just wish she could have been there for me when I needed her most. I'm still glad I had her friendship for the short time that I did though.
It's fun meeting new people and finding out how we can all support one another through the really tough times. That's why I started this blog. Yes, it helps me immensely to be able to write about my feelings and the pain but it also helps me to know that others out there are reading it. I like to feel that connection to other people because let's face it... grief can be a very lonely place.
So thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and commenting. You really are a big part of my healing process.
Much love!
XOXO
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Hi there,
ReplyDeleteI posted this yesterday amd for some reason it didn't post. I saw that you mentioned that you are having bad cramps; I am not sure if this is normal for you or as a result of the miscarriage. You mentioned that the 800 mg. of Ibuprofen isn't helping--I was the same way with my cramps. I even tried Vicodin and Tramadol and nothing!
I finally talked to my doctor and he prescribed Ponstel--which was WONDERFUL!! Perhpas if the cramping continues to be bothersome you can ask your doctor for this medicine. I will say it is a bit expensive, but I found it was the only thing that took the "edge" off.
Every month I felt like I was going to throw up because of the cramps and each month the cramps seemed to get worse and worse.
I hope that you had a good appointment with your RE today and were able to get some answers and/or a plan of action. I know that each day is a journey in your path to healing. Continue to do all you can to remember PJ...and don't forget to take care of yourself along the way.
I am a middle school Spanish teacher and tomorrow starts "Spring Break"...I am so excited and can't wait for some time off.
As always I continue to wish you peace and comfornt on this journey. Many prayers for you...
Nicole
Thanks for the tip, Nicole. I've never heard of that drug but will absolutely ask about it. My RE gave me a prescription for Tylenol 3. Doesn't do much but it's better than the ibuprofen.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your spring break! Where are you from? I hope you've got some nice weather to go along with it.
Best,
Charity