Ready for a change

Here I am, CD6 and still bleeding and cramping. Ugh!! I'm actually ready for a change in my attitude though. I'm so tired of waking up in the mornings with the hopeless feeling that I can't get through another day. The feeling that I might as well stay in bed because nothing else matters. Why bother? I've had a "good day" here and there but I always end up right back here in the thick of it.

See, I'm not new to depression. I was first diagnosed with clinical depression 13 years ago even though the depression actually began when I was closer to 12 or 13.
I want to get a handle on the depression before getting back into TTC but then I think about the strong possibility that I could end up suffering from Postpartum Depression. That really scares me. :(

When I start thinking about those things I become even more hopeless but the thought of never having a child of my own is even worse. See how this works?

I saw my psychiatrist on Monday so I just need to be a little more patient to see if this new medication will be helpful. I really hope so. I hate being in this place. I'm ready for a change!!!