If you've never lived it you might tell someone that their miscarriage is part of God's perfect plan. Perhaps you HAVE lived it and you believe in a perfect plan. I'm facing miscarriage number 2 and I honestly don't see anything perfect about it.
I got my BFP earlier this week and went into my RE for bloodwork only to be told that my HCG was only at an 8. That's much too low for a viable pregnancy. So now I wait to miscarry again.
I worried this day might come but I kept "thinking positive" like people say to do... it won't happen to me. When does positive thinking cross over into denial? Anyway... I didn't think it would happen to me. I knew it was possible but surely I'm not someone who is going to suffer recurrent miscarriages??? Surely not.
Yet, here I am. I mourn the loss of this baby while mending old wounds from losing PJ. I will name this baby soon but I'm just not ready yet.
RE wants to do a "recurrent miscarriage blood panel" so hopefully that will reveal why I can GET pregnant but I can't seem to STAY pregnant.
I just can't seem to keep my babies alive. :( It's an awful feeling.
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Thinking of you hun. Wish I had the words that could help you feel better. Much love <3
ReplyDeleteI stumbled across your blog today as I was researching baby loss charities to donate to. Since your blog is called "Charity's Miscarriage," it came up right away in a google search. I'm very sorry for your loss and struggle. I had a miscarriage about a year and a half ago and still mourn the loss of my baby. I have been trying to get pregnant for quite a while since my miscarriage, but I haven't had any luck so far. And, quite frankly, I am terrified of becoming pregnant again only to find out that I am someone who will suffer recurrent miscarriages. I'm sure that is a heartbreaking and terrifying place to be. I understand your struggle, at least as much as a stranger can. Anyway, I thought you may want to check out a blog that was started up recently by a friend of mine, whose baby girl was still born at 26 weeks about three months ago. It is at the following website: http://facesofloss.blogspot.com/ and is a great support community for baby loss.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I am very sorry for your loss and hope you don't mind my random comment.